Holmes is Not So Much My Homie

So here's the deal.  I'm going to be completely straight with you. I am not looking forward to this movie.  Robert Downy Jr. can be Tony Stark all he wants, but not Holmes.  He doesn't look the part.  And his facial hair is atrocious.  But at least he is making a good attempt at becoming Holmes.  Thanks for trying RDJ.

What Holmes Should Be

What Hollywood Thinks Holmes Should Be

Also, all the previews I've seen are action packed and blood and punches and that's just wrong.  Sherlock Holmes is not Rambo; Sherlock Holmes is not Bruce Willis or Arnold Schwarzenegger; Sherlock Holmes is not James Bond. Sherlock Holmes is a detective. In my head, he doesn't know how to fight or anything like that; he is merely a brilliant observer.  That's it.  He is Basil from The Great Mouse Detective.

in light of my perspective, this movie is going to blow massive chunks and pervert the Sherlock Holmes that Arthur Conan Doyle created.  But we'll see how this goes....

So far this movie annoys me.  Especially the scene with Holmes in the boxing ring.  Sure they tried to make it seem like he was more of an observer by announcing every hit and the effect it would have, but still.  It just doesn't work for me.  I do appreciate the effort.  At least they are trying to make this more detective than beat-me-shoot-me.

Hmmm.... Rachel McAdam's character intrigues me.  And yet, I've seen her in this role before.  Anyone remember Regina George in Mean Girls?  She was the sexiest, baddest girl in the school and she used it to her advantage.  Here we see Irene Adler using her sex appeal and criminal mind to appeal to Sherlock Holmes.  It's redundant for her.  A typecasting of sorts.

i like how Robert Downy Jr. and Jude Law play off each other, but they are too sarcastic for my liking.  They have more of a bitter playful hate relationship than one of friendship.  The word brothers comes to mind.  Conveniently, this is also the term used in the movie.  It seems like they're trying to set the other one off.  Though they do it well, it's just not working for me.  I do enjoy the snarkiness and plays on words, but I don't think it's appropriate for these two characters.


 
Holmes has sunglasses?  Really?  That's not true to the time period, now is it?  Let me explain...the clothing, the accents, the scenery is all set in a certain time period.  And then you have Holmes in those blasted sunglasses.  Congratulations, you've killed the mood of the story completely.  

It's the same blasted thing with his tilted hat.  RDJ is adding his personal fashion touch to Holmes.  FAIL Jr. EPIC FAIL!

The only thing I like about this movie is the music.  It's quite exciting.  And I guess some of the camera angles are fun.


I just...there's too much action and life-threateningness than what I had envisioned for Holmes.  That's probably just me.  I know why it's necessary, however.  When creating a movie, you must appeal to the audience.  This particular audience likes car chases, sex, and as much blood as possible.  My version of Holmes would please very few.


I do like that we continually here what's going through Holmes' mind.  I feel that it is highly necessary when so much of what is going on in the film relates to his observations.  If the audience didn't hear his thoughts, then they would be completely lost.  And the movie would be that much less enjoyable.  It was especially useful in the boxing ring scene and the scene where Irene Adler first appears.  A few minute later, there is a flashback of everything Holmes noticed broken down second by second.


EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW *vomit creeps up throat as the pig heads and other animal body parts*  GROSS!!!!!!


The slaughter house scene is starting to remind me of a bad Popeye cartoon plan.  Seriously.  With the saws drawing ever closer to the damsel in distress is tied to a conveyor belt. *eye roll* It makes me want to laugh.

"Oh, Holmes!! You saved me!!"

OOOO.  That was kind of cool. The camera shot I mean.  Holmes alone, playing his violin, with everything he's heard playing as a voice over while the walls are covered with his notes.  I love that shot.

*Gasp* Slow motion explosions...Haven't seen that before.  Not.

At least the villain, Lord Blackwood, is highly compelling.  I do enjoy a good villain.  Darth Vader, Sylar, Aizen, Maleficent, Jafar, all wonderful.  Lord Blackwood, you may have the potential to join their names.  Don't blow it.


Before I give this movie an official rating, I will have to read the books once more.  My memory and this production do not add up.  I feel there is something more I must deduce.  There are connections I have yet to make.  I will update this once I have read the books and have a clearer view of Holmes and Watson once more.