Uh Oh... It's Coming Up... The Word Vomit...

Oh Mean Girls.  It is one of my all time favorite movies.   I know there are much better options out there, but this movie just brings joy to my heart.  A few years ago, I watched this movie daily...it was the only thing my roommate and I had in common...it kept us from killing each other.  I could quote this entire movie at one point.  Thankfully, I've grown out of that phase, but I can still quote quite a bit.

 


The first time I saw this movie was during my "Lindsay Lohan" phase.  I thought she was so cool after my grandma took me to see The Parent Trap.  After that, I watched every one of her movies I could: Life Size, Get a Clue, Freaky Friday, and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.  I quit at Herbie: Fully Loaded.  I couldn't do it.

I think I like this movie because of it's window into the "girl" world.  I'll be honest.  I never fit into the "girl" world.  I can count the number of close friends that were girls on one hand.  I hung out with guys because they made sense and didn't play all the games that you see Regina, Karen, Gretchen, and, eventually, Cady play with each other.  They are absolutely vicious and, okay, I love every minute of it.

I also like how true it is to high school life.  Okay, some things are obviously exaggerated, but the cafeteria thing: totally true.  Your seat depended on your social status in school.  And everyone watched where you picked that initial seat your first day of freshmen year.

"Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial because you got everybody there. 

You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, JV jocks, Asian nerds, 

cool Asians, varsity jocks, unfriendly black hotties, girls who eat their feelings, 

girls who don't eat anything, desperate wannabes, burnouts, 

sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet and the worst. 

Beware of The Plastics."

I sat with, going by Mean Girls status, is probably the burn out table.  There was a guy who was on his third or fourth year as a freshmen and a few girls I don't remember.  Most my friends went to one of the other high schools or moved away entirely.  We colored our hair with Sharpies or highlighters and, okay one of us, ground up cheetohs and snorted the crumbs up his nose.  I didn't stay there long.  I ended up eating in one of my teachers room: I had a sweet deal -- I got to eat in peace without everyone watching me if I helped grade his quizzes and other assignments.  It worked pretty well for me for the remainder of my high school career.


Anyway, back to the movie.

Regina George... I mean how do you explain Regina George?  Lets ask the experts: "Regina George is flawless." "She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus." "I hear she does car commercials. In Japan." "Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues." "One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome." What else is there to say?  
Nothing.
Except I will never let Rachel McAdams live this role down.  No matter who she is, she is Regina George to me.

 And I really want to yell at you.  Just like Gretchen did. Finally her real feelings come out.  Everyone feels that way about Regina, Gretchen is just the only one to say it.  Finally.  Thank you Gretchen Weiners for cracking.













"Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his BIG feet?  What's so great about Caesar? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. OK? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become OK for one person  to be the boss of everybody?  Because that's NOT what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Caesar!"

Speaking of defining roles... *drum roll* ... Amanda Seyfried... YOU WIN!! No matter if I see you in Mamma Mia, Jennifer's Body, Dear John, Letters to Juliet, or that one episode of House, M.D., you will always be Karen to me.  Half the time, i don't even know your real name: I just know Karen.
Don't get offended though.  You are my absolute favorite Mean Girl.  Your 'dumbnesss' makes me smile...every time.












There are so many grand quotes in this movie.  So many phrases I could repeat: "Four for you Glenn Coco. You go Glenn Coco."  or "Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super-jumbo tampons.  But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina."  

But my favorite quote is this: "When you get bit by a snake, you're supposed to suck out the poison.  That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life."  I can't tell you how many times I've had to do that: suck poison out of my life.  Most of them came from girls, but some came from me as well.  It's a cleansing experience.



The best part is that you can hear exactly what Cady (Lohan) is thinking.  It is necessary because so much of her change is psychological.  So much of the greatness would be lost without her voice overs.

I don't care what you say: this movie defined several years of my life.  it's fantastic.  For boys and girls, alike.